10 Advantages of being The New Mrs. Draco Malfoy
((NOTE: This is written in Hermione's Point Of View))
1- Everyone tries to suck up to you
2- No one dares to call you any 'impolite' names
3- No one dares to hit on you
4- Everyone practically bows down to you, except for the self-respecting people, of course.
5- You don't have to move a single muscle--literally--to do everything that needs to be done.
6- You have complete and total privacy when you want/need it.
7- It's a great way to make people listen: "I'm Mrs.Draco Malfoy. You have to listen to me."
8- You get to have a giant picture of the Malfoy of your choice on your wall (alas, that spot on my wall is empty. I absolutely can't decide who to pick. *note sarcasm*)
9- You worst enemy's parents suddenly start to like you more than their own son.
10- You get access to the best and most exclusive spellbooks. Ever.
10 Things to Say to Piss off Draco Malfoy
1- "Harry Potter."
2- "You have a small penis."
3- "Your nose is crooked."
4- "That robe is hideous!"
5- "You need to work out more."
6- "Go away."
7- "Bugger off."
10- "You need to get laid."
10 Ways to Get Draco Malfoy to Snog You
1- Tell him he kisses really bad
2- Tell him he's an asshole
3- Piss him off
4- Lick your lips... Extra slowly
6- Say "Slytherin"
7- Scream and yell at him. (He'll snog you so as to shut you up... I know, I've done it before. )
8- Be Evil, just like him.
9- Tell him not to.
10- Slap him. Really, really, really hard.
Dec 22, 2003
How the hell do you buy a Christmas gift for a impossibly rich prat who has everything?
He suggested yesterday that I put on a nice little green bow, and give myself to him. That bastard! How could he even suggest such a thing! That arrogant, impossible! ARGH!
I've crossed out clothing, since he obviously doesn't need any of that. And jewelry.. Well, he has enough. And apparel, I don't think so! And I obviously can't give him quills, since he IS my husband... I wonder what he's getting me...
Posted at 04:37 pm by hermionemalfoy
How I loathe that man who I am forced to call my "husband".
That word makes me feel so old. Like 45. Or something.
I swear, if I ever make it out of this current situation, I will NEVER EVER marry a Malfoy, ever again. They only think of themselves, and don't bother to care about others. Like my "husband". As soon as the nuptials (which were quite nice, I must admit) ended, we apparated back to the manor, leaving everyone to think that we were on our honeymoon, and he went straight up to his bedroom. To take a nap. A NAP! Ok, so this marriage is temporary, but that doesn't mean you can just go up and take a NAP! Aaargh! That absolute... GIT! The nerve of him! And you know what makes things even worse? He left me here, in the drawing room, with his MOTHER! OF ALL PEOPLE. HIS MOTHER. (Oh yes, and apparently, Narcissa Malfoy finds Muggles to be quite entertaining. She also enjoys cooking and knitting sweaters for the hundreds of house-elves.)
His mother just wouldn't shut up. For what must have been at LEAST five hours, she went on and on about her Hogwarts years, and how wonderful she was. She finally left thirty minutes ago--to watch her favorite Muggle soap opera.
As for the infamous Mr. Malfoy senior, well, he's out. I asked Ferret Boy Draco about it earlier. He said that he probably went to some pub, to get drunk and come home thinking he's a chicken. Hmm...
I've come to the conclusion that all of the Malfoys (excluding me) need to go to see a counselor. I'm afraid they all need some mental help.
Posted at 12:50 am by hermionemalfoy
To Hermione Malfoy's diary.
Oh yes. OK. Now, in order to stop a rising war between mudbloods and purebloods, Dumbledore requests that Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy put aside their differences, and get married. Just for the time being, he says.
Now you can read all about Hermione Malfoy's life!
((NOTE: All content on this "blog" is fictional, and was made up by the blogtress because she is infatuated with Draco/Hermione, and has always fancied role-playing. Keep in mind that the blogtress herself is not British, so it may affect her vocabulary. :) Also, keep in mind this:
Disclaimer- ALL 'HARRY POTTER'-RELATED CHARACTERS, THINGS, OBJECTS (NOUNS, BASICALLY) BELONG TO J.K. Rowling!!!
(But the plotline (if there is any) is mine.)
Now, prepare to be amazed... :P
Posted at 12:41 am by hermionemalfoy